Understanding and Reasoning With a Smoker

A challenge of integrity: How to understand and reason with a smoker

Understanding and reasoning with a smoker is something that challenges every non-smoker, at one time or another, particularly when the non-smoker has a medical background and is aware of the reality, that the smoker is harming himself or herself, as well as others. The smoker may or may not realize how harmful that addiction can be.

Being realistic, in terms of trying to understand and reason with a smoker, one must suggest that dealing with any addiction, which is what smoking is, will never be easy. It becomes a challenge of integrity and common sense.

Here are some guidelines to follow.

First and foremost, remember that smokers are human beings, like everyone else and need to be treated with respect. Maintaining a sense of human dignity is important to us all; this also includes smokers. Many times a smoker is ashamed of his or her addiction, but will not admit that reality.

Often, smokers are sensitive people, who are hurt easily. This is the same kind of sensitivity that many fine writers, artists and musicians demonstrate. They succeed in their worlds because of this remarkable sensitivity. The smoker, while sensitive in this same way, finds his or her outlet, but in a negative direction, rather than a positive outlet of expression.

Many smokers feel they have rights, which they do, but no one has the right to harm or kill another individual, because human life is sacred and should be regarded as such, by both smokers and non-smokers.

A lot of smokers feel that no one understands them. It is true that most people do not appear to understand smokers, any more than they appear to understand non-smokers. The majority of people, never take the time to understand smokers or anyone else. They are too busy in their own worlds. With respect to the smoker, they only want to get away from that which they find is offensive to them. Cigarette smoke is offensive to many people and some are allergic to it.

In our era, cigarette addiction is becoming increasing worse, partly because of the multiplicity of chemicals now put in cigarettes. The smoker may or may not be aware of the chemicals or the harm that they can do to the human body. He or she seeks to satisfy his or her own hunger or craving for nicotine.

Cigarette smokers are becoming increasingly aggressive, with respect to defending their nicotine addiction, lifestyles and territories. They can become  abusive and argumentative, while trying to force non-smokers to participate in smoking, so that they will be sympathetic with their own needs and desires.

Few people realize the reality that nicotine addiction leads to more serious addiction problems, associated with the use of other chemicals and drugs. Many of them will deny using other drugs, along with nicotine, while it is evident to anyone who knows the symptomatology that this is what is happening. Denial is a major factor in any addiction.

Few smokers consider the short or long term cost factors, because the need or desire in their addiction is their major focus of attention. Cost can be measured in terms of dollars and cents, but more importantly, there are other factors to take into consideration like health, social status and relationships. Asking a smoker if these have been affected in any way, will cause the smokers to become extremely defensive, although they know that they may be harming themselves and others, as well as wasting a lot of hard earned money.

Making it clear to a smoker that smoking is not acceptable is a major step. It may take walking away from that smoker, in order for the smoker to realize that the non-smoker is serious. Sometimes, relationships can be restored, but not always. Continuing to maintain a close relationship with a heavy smoker may or may not be, in one's best interest.

It is only when a smoker makes a serious decision to change his or her habits, behavior and lifestyle, that a trained counselor can help a smoker deal with smoking addiction. Until that time, verbal disagreements, arguments, abuse or whatever other methodology one might try to use to stop someone from smoking, is going to be a waste of time and energy.

Understanding and reasoning with a smoker requires a lot of integrity, but time and patience can be major factors. Letting the smoker know that it is the cigarettes that are offensive and not him or her as the smoker is of major importance in terms of change.

Smokers can become non-smokers, if they seriously wish to do so. But, a smoker's social life operates on the principle of personal acceptance and interaction, through an exchange of cigarettes between friends or acquaintances.

True friendships are not based on exchanging something that is harmful to oneself and others. Would smokers continue to smoke if they realized that?

Explaining that to the smoker may or may not be a waste of time, all depending upon the understanding and reasoning capacity of the smoker.